The Hard Way
by BlazeorFade
Summary: Follow up to Slip Out The Back. Sam's POV as he realizes Dean is cutting him out of his life. Songfic


Title: The Hard Way

Rating: T

Summary: Follow up to Slip Out The Back. Sam's POV as Dean cuts him out of his life. Set to The Hard Way by Fort Minor

Disclaimer: Still no takers on my offer for a Chips Ahoy in exchange for ownership of the boys.

* * *

Sam woke a few days after Dean canceled on him with a feeling of dread in the pit of his stomach. He tried to shake it off as he got ready but couldn't shake the bad feeling. Finally he pulled out his phone to call his brother and make sure that he was alright.

"We're sorry the number you have dialed is no longer in service." A mechanical voice said after two rings.

Sam hung up and tried again thinking he'd dialed the number wrong, only to get the same message. Third time wasn't a charm and he gave up realizing he was going to be late to class. He'll call with his new number, he rationalized trying to push the growing feeling of foreboding.

Sam went through the motions through the rest of the day, waiting for his brother to call. He waited for days, trying the number again and again, not giving into the panic. He thought about calling his dad to ask what the hell was going on but the old anger still burned and he wouldn't be the one to bridge the gap between him and his father.

_Come with me let me walk you through the world that I currently stay in_

_You can take a look around and tell me if I'm mistaken_

_You can meet and talk to everybody that I live with_

_Maybe you can tell me why everybody's so distant_

_Is it me or maybe when I look around daily_

_I don't even know the people I can put my trust in lately_

_People that I used to hang with now their acting so different_

_I'm still the same person why doesn't anybody listen_

_Can somebody please explain to me _

_What happened to the way that we always said we'd be?_

_Right now I don't why I push through the pain that I got through_

_And I'm losing hope_

A week passed, then another and another. Dean's e-mail address had been deactivated and he didn't know where the poltergeist Dean was supposed to be hunting was. A sense of loneliness came over Sam. He never realized how talking to Dean constantly had kept him from feeling lost and alone in his new environment. Sam withdrew inside himself, away from the few friends he'd made at school a nd threw himself into his school work.

_Deafening voices _

_Frequency inside my head that says_

_I'm goin at it the hard way_

_I focus_

_Everything inside out of my brain _

_That claims_

_I'm going at it the hard way_

He called associates, asking if they'd heard from his brother at all. Pastor Jim said Dean was alive and well when he talked to him a couple of weeks before. Around the time Dean was supposed to see him again. Sam thanked him and hung up his phone staring numbly at his dorm room wall. If Dean was fine, why had he disappeared from Sam's life?

Was it something I did, Sam wondered swallowing hard. He flipped open his phone and scanned through the phone numbers. He stopped on the entry marked 'Dad', his finger hesitating on the dial key. He closed the phone and tossed it onto the bed.

_Come with me let me walk you through the world that I currently live in_

_Not a thing is forgotten not a thing is forgiven_

_Nobody can hold their own underneath the weight_

_But nobody can take the blame for their own mistakes so_

_What do you do when somebody lets you down_

_And you wanna something but you can't cause their not around_

_Inside you think they know the extent of the pain_

_But they won't even admit that they were the one to blame_

_Can somebody please just explain to me_

_What happened to the way that we always said we'd be?_

_Cause right now I don't know how I push the pain that I got through_

_And I'm losing hope_

_Deafening voices _

_Frequency inside my head that says_

_I'm goin at it the hard way_

_I focus_

_Everything inside out of my brain _

_That claims_

_I'm going at it the hard way_

'Fine, fuck him. I don't need him.' Sam thought drinking deep from his beer. It was his third and three more than he usually drank.

He'd just gotten off the phone with his father, finally caving under the weight of his need to know why Dean was mad at him.

"Maybe if you hadn't walked out on him, you'd know." John had said hanging up on Sam. Sam threw his cell phone against his dorm wall, smashing it to bits, then he stormed out to the nearest bar.

I told him, Sam thought. I told him it wasn't him I was walking away from. Sam swallowed the last and hunched over further trying to disappear from the pain of his family's rejection.

_Can somebody just explain to me _

_What happened to the way that we always said we'd be?_

_I don't why I push through the pain that I got through_

_And I'm losing hope _

_Gimme one reason not to_

_Deafening voices _

_Frequency inside my head that says_

_I'm goin at it the hard way_

_I focus_

_Everything inside out of my brain _

_That claims_

_I'm going at it the hard way_

"Are you okay?" A voice asked him. Sam looked up hesitantly to see a beautiful blonde girl he recognized form a couple of his classes, looking a t him with concern in her blue eyes. What was her name, Jaime, Jennifer….

"We have a few classes together and I just wanted to introduce myself." She said smiling at him. She held out her hand. He looked at it for too long and she dropped it awkwardly.

"I just saw you here and I wanted to see if maybe you'd like some company."She said with a bit of doubt and self consciousness creeping into her voice.

Sam watched her frowning. He was still getting used to having new people approach him, even after two years at Stanford. He'd never really reached out for friendshipthere because his brother, his best friend was always just a phone call or an e-mail away. Not anymore, he thought bitterly.

"I'll just leave you alone."Shesaid taking his silence for rejection. Sam stood up to fast and swayed, nearly falling over.She reached out a hand to steady him.

"You alright?" She asked.

"No, I mean yes. I mean…" Sam stopped trying to get the words together in his head.

"I'm sorry, I was rude before. My name's Sam. Sam Winchester." Sam said holding out his hand, exhaling with relief when she took it with a smile. He didn't want to feel alone anymore, without anyone to talk to or laugh with. He decided he'd try to forget his old life and he'd start right there with her.

"Jessica Moore." She replied.

-Fin


End file.
